Jezebel’s hair & car tires

In my tradition, Jezebel’s hair symbolized wickedness.

For instance, in 1950 my dad took me to Jackson, Michigan, where Dwight D. Eisenhower was campaigning for president.

Ike shook my eight-year-old hand.

The next week, a picture of Mamie Eisenhower’s bangs disappointed Dad. “His wife’s a Jezebel.”

The technical question is, did Jezebel use curlers, wigs, or what?

And do we care?

I cared.

Some preachers read us the text, “Jezebel … painted her face, and tired her head…” and explained that “tired” was the King James Version for round things or curlers.

So I pictured tiny tires used as hair curlers.

Then commentators stole my fun. They insisted “tired” is the Old English form of “attired” which means dressing something up to make it look good. And they had the proper Hebrew word to prove it.

Tiny tires fell to the floor, and I swept them up. The dustbin of history was full, so I put them in the wastebasket.